YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING or The Cultural Arsonist’s Literal Reading of The Bible ...by Joe Wenke

Cover: Gisele Xtravaganza

Dedicated to Thomas Paine and Christopher Hitchens, this irreverent and often hilarious book tells numerous stories from the Bible in modern satiric shorthand. A cheery skeptic, Joe Wenke makes one realize how contradictory and illogical these famous stories are. Like Wenke, I’ve always had a problem with the Old Testament God. His changes of mood from benevolent to harsh to downright punitive confused me. Who is He? How can He be so creative and then suddenly turn cruel? In chapters titled “Weird Laws” “God’s War Crimes” and “Free Will” author Wenke explains this capriciousness with savage humor and cleverness.

You will laugh as you read Wenke’s saucy version of your favorite stories. There’s Adam and Eve and their two competitive sons; Noah and the impossibly over-loaded Ark; Abraham’s zealous embrace of circumcision; Moses and his wayward followers; Samson’s baldness problem; David the singer vs. Goliath the behemoth, and crazy Saul; Solomon with his 700 wives and 300 mistresses; poor tortured Job who keeps the faith throughout, and other zany tales.

Author: Joe Wenke

Just when I was afraid Wenke was taking cheap shots at religious people’s beliefs, to my delight he found a hero. Yes, the much over-exposed and badly portrayed in film and portraiture, the one and only Jesus. To Wenke, “Jesus is cool!” He likes the guy. Hey, this is someone even atheists can admire. The true philosophy of Jesus is told with gentle humor: “Jesus is God. It is what it is, and he is who he says he is. So there!”

The proof, to quote Wenke: “Jesus hangs out with lowlifes; Jesus is into working women, working girls included; Jesus loves children; Jesus hangs out with tax collectors too, so even if you’re from the IRS, you won’t freak him out; Jesus has answers for every trick question; Jesus can be gentle, but he’s right in your face if the situation calls for it; Jesus is for the laborer and those who are ’heavy laden’ He promises rest; That’s Jesus, and that’s cool!”

Clearly, Wenke sees Jesus as not necessarily God (or the son of God) but a really great guy. One whose philosophy holds water – holy or not – and that if people would stop using Him as a weapon and actually listen to what He proposed, and live by it, the world would be a better place. Most religions claim they want Peace and Love but when are they going to heed the real message. No disrespect here, but gentle satire and a plea for loving kindness.

Wenke leaves us with an intriguing series of unanswered questions: Why was Lot’s wife turned into salt and not some other condiment? How can it rain for 40 days and nights in the desert and flood the whole earth? Was Jonah eaten by a whale or a fish and how could he have survived three days in there? Who were the Three Wise Men and how did they know where to go? And, best of all, whatever happened to Joseph, husband of Mary, after 12 year old Jesus sassed him in the temple? Seems he just vanished.

            Read the book. Wenke is cool!

Publisher Trans Uber LLC, Stamford, Connecticut. Contact: joewenke@joewenke.org.
 This review published in Athiests United monthly newsletter: 'Rational Alternative' October, 2013.